


The Weirdest Friendship

by Rainbowrites



Category: Glee
Genre: Crack, Drabble, M/M, blanana friendship, sex toy shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-06-22
Packaged: 2017-11-08 07:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbowrites/pseuds/Rainbowrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine drags Kurt out to look for a nice gift for Santana's birthday. Inevitably, they end up in a sex toy  shop.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weirdest Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this except to say that I discovered that baby jesus butt plugs were actually a thing, and thus this fic was born

Kurt walked over to his boyfriend, who was staring at the object in his hands like it held the secrets to the universe. He glanced over Blaine’s shoulder and promptly started choking on his own saliva.

 

“Blaine, is that… is that a _baby jesus butt plug_?”

 

Blaine barely spared him a glance, still looking at it intently, carefully turning it over in his hands. Kurt didn’t know how, he flt a little queasy just from the proximity. “Too much?”

 

“You and Santana have the weirdest friendship.” Shopping for sex toys at nine in the morning on Saturday. How was this his life?

 

“Kurt, if you’re not going to help me decide between the pink flog and the star spangled strap-on then be quiet.”

 

They fell silent as the tinny sounds of _The Star Spangled Banner_ surrounded them. As one, they looked down at the patriotic sex toy in Blaine’s hand. It cheerfully whistled out a few more notes and then fell silent.

 

“That clinches it then” Blaine said decisively, “She’ll be able to tell them to hail to the chief this way.”

 

“A one gun salute?” Kurt suggested dryly, putting the pink flog back with its other neon counterparts. He didn’t have anything against flogs or all that they stood for, but he felt very strongly that nothing in the world should look like it belonged in a Strawberry Shortcake themed sex dungeon.

 

“Do you think we should get her some lube to go with it?” Blaine eyed the display of flavored lubes thoughtfully.

 

Kurt marched his boyfriend to the counter before he could ask for taste samples. “It’s Santana Blaine, I’m sure she has enough to open up her _own_ shop.”

 

“That’s true.” Blaine looked up at him excitedly, “Maybe we should get her a nice spice rack to help keep them organized!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Blaine later sneaks out and buys a lovely antique spice rack with painted flowers on it.


End file.
